MikeAngowski
Describe MikeAngowski here.
Michael Angowski is my boyfriend. There are a lot of reasons for me to say that he is the best thing to ever happen to me, but he is the worst thing to ever happen to my household. His birthday is August 13, 1986; and mine is May 29, 1984. That means that for an almost three month period of time, he is 15 while I am 18. And this is something that my mom cannot bear, and Marv has found a sense of hatred for this boy. It's like a real life play. Girl and Boy fall in love, are forbidden, family ties are broken, they live happily ever after with no family left, etc. On my 18th birthday, I cut two classes to hang out with Mike at his house. Nobody was there, and both of our parents found out, assuming the worst. My mom had already said that I could have guests over, and decided that I still could have my party. But it was not really that fun. Marv was in a rotten mood, and reamed out one of my best friends for telling a joke with bad language in it. My party was ruined. Not only that, but after the guests left and Mike helped clean up, Marv took Mike outside and scared the living daylights out of him by saying "if you ever call here again, you'll have to answer to me." So, on the birthday that is supposed to mean new freedom, I now had less freedom than ever before. However, Mike's parents did not agree with trying to control us, so they have been allowing me to come see Mike pretty much whenever I want. I have been spending much of my free time scamming to see Mike, and vey sucessfully. I see him almost every day. We hang out with my friends or his friends or we go out, it's almost like I have total freedom. But I don't. Mom said that if I want to be with Mike, I'll have to live somewhere else because she can't take it. It scares her. And that scares me enough. She knows that I scam to see him, but she has no proof and she doesn't follow up on anything. That is the only reason I continue. Questions? Opinions? michelle@whitescarver.com BUT DON'T WRITE IF YOU ARE GOING TO YELL AT ME. I've heard enough, believe me. MeeshyScarver
Humm... Opinions... Yeah... 3 years usually makes a big difference, at your two ages. What is it about him that makes you go all giggly about Mike?
21 is your real freedom age. 18 is more of a tease. You are still coming into your legal rights. Most adults aren't going to respect you though, as they remember being highly unworldly at that age, or everyone else being unworldly at that age, anyways.
One more thing. Take it easy, and enjoy. Just don't do anything too stupid, and everything should be just fine. (unless you have terrible luck, or are inclined to turn your brain off). The main thing is to just take it easy. It really doesn't do you or anyone else you live with to fight about it. It sounds like you can talk with your Mom about this, at least somewhat. So keep her in the loop.
I don't know, mind you, but I presume your parents, or at least your Mom and Marv, are just scared you will screw up your future by doing something really stupid and having some bad luck. You are 18... If your Mom is anything like mine, and every other mother that loves their children, that's what's going on there. She just wants to see that you have all horizons still open to you.
And with Mike being the young one... it's his parents that have the say about yeah or nay. Well, legally speaking. Not that they could do anything other then cause some trouble. Sounds like they are trusting you. Do everyone a favor, and keep that trust. If you and Mike stay together, it will be the foundation of a good relationship between them and you.
So, to surmise. Talk with your Mom. Keep your brain in gear at all times. Take it easy and enjoy. ;-)
---StarPilot
==The Viewpoint of Mike=======
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After carefully reading all the different viewpoints and comments, I have to say Im not in the best of moods, buts thats ok. I don't know where to begin. First of all, i suppose I will share my feelings on the situation in general. First of all.......lets look at it from the outside. A 16 year old Junior in High School is going out with an 18 year old girl who is about to open up a whole new door in her life, that door being college. For some reason, Michelle's Mother and Step-Father think that I am wronging her somehow, or they could just be embarassed that the girl....no, woman that they are bring up is going out with a person that in their eyes is still a boy. But the thing that gets me the most is that when Marvin was a young man in High School, Michelle's mother was still speaking her first words. If I am not mistaken there is a twelve year age difference between them. Their logic is flawed I think.
I have somthing to tell you Mr. Whitescarver. I like you. I think your are really interesting, and funny, an all around cool guy. I enjoy being in the company of you and your family, and I would like to get to know you all alot better. See the problem is, everyone gets this wrong impression of me when I first meet them because I am a shy person. That impression will stick with that person unless i get to know them and I can feel comfortable with them. For some reason, I already feel very comfortable with you, your brother Bob, and most of your family. It's Michelle's Mother and Marv I felt very uncomfortable with. Your side famliy seemed alot more interested in getting to know me then Marion or Marv. They got that first impression and would not let it leave them, this is why I think this problem exists now. In response to your wife (DootsMom), I wasn't the one who spawned the topics of Zits, bug bites, rashes ect. That was Michelle. As for me seeming unkempt, that was only one of the two times you saw me, the time I walked to your house, and I was unkempt because I was ready for bed. I don't get dressed up or anything before I go to bed. Its late so I am going to bring this to a close for now, but I plan on writing again and I am curious to see how people respond to this. Thank you Mr. Whitescarver for this web page, I like it a lot.
MikeAngowski
Hi Mike. I'm glad to get to know you better. Me calling someone "unkempt" is like the pot calling the kettle black, DootsMom couldn't believe I have the nerve to call anyone unkempt the way I dress myself, do my hair, etc. I was pointing out that you seem an odd couple, which is just an impression, but i'll bet it influences how a lot of people feel.
The good news is that Marv and Marion have surrendered appearently. They want michelle to come home and will not try to stop her from seeing you. My little brat won again. She is as bad as her father at getting away with shit. She got to play most of the summer, the bum, just like she planned.... Well, guess you only live once...
I am lexdysic and had a 20 percential vocabulary at age 11. I tend to be a slow thinker and stammerer at times still, (as if you wouldn't notice :), I identify with your communication difficulties and I think you sence that. I have a 98+ percential vocabulary now. I found had my own private language of thought, I have found that common language is essential and worthwile in so much as it can be attained. Using English has improved my thinking. I don't know if your problems are similar, but try reading and writing as often as you can. Herman Hesse was my inspiration when I was your age, find what YOU like. I am glad you like my Wiki (makes me giggly) :) -- JimScarver
-Hello. I want to take this time to say sorry, and this is for Marion and Marv. I am sorry for what you have both been going through due to this relationship between Michelle and I. I know how much you are hurt by all the scamming and lying that has been done so we could see eachother. I also know you are worried for Michelle and want what is best for her. I can assure both of you that I care for Michelle very much as well, and I would never do anything that could cause her harm, or put her in danger. I wouldn't do anything that would cause her to be unsucessful in any way, shape, or form. You have to understand, it hurts me as well. The fact that I cannot speak or interact with my girlfriends parents hurts more then you might think. I do respect you for doing what you think is right for Michelle. I am not mad, I suppose I really don't have a right to be. I hope this can get to one or both of you. And, I am not saying sorry in an attempt to just automatically fix things and make it all better, or to make you like me or anything of that nature. This is just what I feel I need to do to make me feel better. If it makes you feel a little better to thats wonderful, and I am sorry if it doesn't. if anyone wants to contact me, my e-mail adress is sussexrockfan@aol.com, and my AOL Instant Messenger screen name is also sussexrockfan. Untill the next time I write, Bye.
Hi, this is Mike again. I accidently deleted the last thing I wrote, and I can't remember it, so oh well.
(I put it back for you, Wikiworld loses nothing====-- JimScarver)
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My mother read both this and the thing written in MeeshyScarver. She is at a breaking point due to all of the things that are being said about me and the stress she goes through because of the situation. Shes in pain for loving me and caring for me. She wants me to be happy, and Michelle makes me very happy, so she breaks her back to make us see eachother. She also sees no harm in this relationship. The stress is really getting to me tonight and this isn't right. This needs to be resolved, somehow, someway. And I am not breaking up with Michelle, thats not an option. A mature, adult way to go about it could be a conversation, or a meeting. Somthing because its out of hand and it shouldn't be and doesn't have to be. I'm "the kid" here but yet it seems like I'm the only one who wants to resolve it in an ordely, calm, adult manner. It doesn't seem to hard to me. Can people stop being selfish and or stubbourn and just think about other people? I don't want anyone to be in pain, not me,not Michelle, not Marion or Marv, not Mr. Whitescarver or his wife, nobody, but it seems I am the only one who sees things this way. Well I am asking for everybody to try to look at things in this way, and I think we culd eventually make things easier on everybody, because right now nobody is stress free. Just think about this, its seems pretty reasonable to me. Thanks.....
I love you, Mike MeeshyScarver
It was good instant messaging with you last night, I can finally say without reservation that you are a human being, not just a slug hitting on my precious baby :). I do try to give people the benifit of the doubt, but untill you really know someone, part of you always wonder what is really going on upstairs. I even susspected for a moment that your words here were coming from michelle because I still didn't know who you were really. Well, I thought I might, and I wasn't far off, and I do like you and can write pretty well. Your words here have more meaning now that I know you a little better.
"it seems like I'm the only one who wants to resolve it in an ordely, calm, adult manner"
"seems pretty reasonable to me"
It is a bit naive to expect reasonableness from DumbAnimals. Computers are good with logic. People are not. People are emotional and social creatures. Each one is being perfectly reasonable from their view. Your question is well placed as WikiWorld is an investigation into exactly that question. Check out the recent discussion in http://groups.yahoo.com/group/collective_intelligence/ on war to see how badly well meaning people can communicate even in the quest for the collective intelligence. The only real advice I can give you is to try to have a sence of humor about it. If I couldn't laugh about it, I'd shoot myself. Well, maybe not, people are generally pretty cool anyway, once you get to know them.
Until people get to know someone they tend to second guess everything said, what do they mean by that, what motives do they have, is that how they really feel, etc. We can't help it. And there is some wisdom in it.
Your mother instant messaged me last night but signed off before I could answer her. She said she would be online today but I didn'y see her on. I hope she is feeling better after you and I had our chat- she can call me anytime if she wants to talk about anything. -- JimScarver